|One of many lovely vistas in San Francisco on a sunny day.|
This has been a long time coming. I’ve been unsettled in London for most of the time I’ve lived here, and have decided upon returning from my most recent trip to America that I do not need to deal with this anymore. Maybe it’s homesickness, or maybe my heart never left (the reason I like to believe). Often shrouded in fog, and surprisingly chilly in summer, San Francisco is my favorite city in America, if not the world. It’s absolutely gorgeous in the sunshine (if you find yourself there on a sunny day, admire the views from Twin Peaks or Buena Vista Park), is awesomely diverse, and has some of the best shopping and food the West Coast has to offer.
San Francisco isn’t my only draw back to the Bay Area. I loved driving in the hills surrounding the bay, going to the beaches (even if they were a bit foggy and cold sometimes!) driving along Highway 1, and drinking in all the amazing scenery (and wine) the area had to offer.
I’ve only been back once since I moved to London, but it’s the only place that’s felt like home in the past three years.
I have been in a rut. While moving to London to work was an amazing opportunity, the mistake I ultimately made was making a completely lateral move that offered no significant opportunities to challenge myself and really push me out of my comfort zone. By which I mean, my job was almost the same, but working with a European team rather than an American team. Hence, I’ve been in a rut.
Over the past few months, I’ve been chatting with colleagues, and networking in attempts to find a new job here in London. That, in itself, has been challenging, but also a bit suffocating. Yes, the people I’ve talked to have been lovely, especially the colleagues who have suggested exercises to structure my job search, but as an expat on a Tier 2 visa, I’m limited to looking for jobs within my current company. Opportunities in Europe are few and far between, and those that do exist either don’t match my interests, or I don’t fit the qualifications. It’s quite unfortunate, really as I am truly excited about the tech industry and what it has to offer, and I really felt I could have picked up some excellent experience and skills more quickly if I stayed in London.
I know that there is still a long road ahead to achieving this, but I do hope that moving to back to America, reconnecting with former colleagues and friends, and getting back to Silicon Valley will help me find something that ticks all the boxes.
Before I went back to the US for Thanksgiving, I was surfing the Internet, and came across what I thought would be an amazing opportunity: to attend one of the Blogcademy workshops in London. In early November 2012, I attended a professional development workshop, the Women in Business Superconference, and found it really motivating and inspiring. It was a group of about 100 women networking, learning strategies to improve networking skills (I’m looking forward to trying my 60-Second pitch at the Blogcademy), finding new opportunities internally, and generally moves to boost one’s career.
I’m hoping Blogcademy will be equally inspiring, and will finally give me the tools and motivation I need to take my blog more seriously. Blogcademy was set up by Gala Darling, Kat Williams (Rock n Roll Bride) and Sauna Haider (Nubby Twiglet)–each truly talented in their respective fields–to inspire bloggers, increase readership and develop a blogging brand among other things. All are elements I’m interested in and excited to learn about in the next few weeks.
In excitement and anticipation, I’ve already set a goal to post at least once a week, and I’ve got ideas for a blog redesign and content overhaul in the coming months–writing about expat life after I’ve moved back to the US might be a bit silly. Hell, if this all goes swimmingly, I might achieve that dream of finding a job I love, or using new skills to find a job I love!
While moving back to California doesn’t mean that I will no longer venture this side of the Atlantic, it does mean it will be a bit trickier to plan trips to other countries and cities here. Even though the year has just begun, I’m already heading to Dublin next weekend, hopefully to Edinburgh in February and Prague anytime between now and my move back to America.
The first year I was in London, I was incredibly cash-strapped. I had my suitcases packed to the brim, enough money in my US bank account to get me by for a month, and just enough money to cover my expenses after that. It was rough, and meant that I was limited in travel options. However, I did manage to visit my husband when he was working at CERN in Geneva, Switzerland, Amsterdam (I still don’t know what all the fuss is about) and Brussels, Belgium (for work, but ended up being good fun as I was there over a warm, sunny weekend). The second year here, I ended up falling terribly ill, and this past year felt I’d spent enough money on a wedding and had ventured to Australia for the honeymoon (not to mention this past summer was the one to be in London).
Excuses for previous years aside, I will see more of Europe before I move to America.
The last few years, and the last year especially, have been a real chink in my armor. Before I moved to London, I saw myself as quite confident and self-assured. But over the last year, I’ve really felt my confidence wain. Maybe it’s because I’m not nearly as fashionable as the other girls walking down the high street, or maybe it’s because I’ve been looking for a job for months with no success, but I don’t feel I have the confidence I once had, and as a result, I’ve become less and less happy with my life.
So this year it ends. I think one massive change that will make a difference is getting back to California where I hope I can reconnect with friends and former colleagues. One thing that’s made London incredibly difficult for me is how difficult it is to make new friends here. The best chance most expats have at making new friends is befriending fellow expats, but as it’s an ever-changing community, one quickly finds all her friends are gone in the blink of an eye.
Another way I’m attacking confidence issues is to continue giving my wardrobe an overhaul. London is most definitely a fashion city, and I’ve felt pretty out of place for a long time. After being well and outgrowing must of my old clothes, I decided it was time to start dressing more like the woman I want to be, but still being true to myself. I’ve not gotten too far in this mission, and after spending many consecutive weekends on Oxford Street, Chelsea high street and in Westfield White City, I decided it was time for a break (not to mention that shopping areas are mad between mid-November to early February).
Really, this one is all about restoring my confidence and remembering, I AM a “badass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!”